Monday, August 07, 2006 ||
3:45 PM ||
Supposedly.
Some of my memories are associated with a cousin of mine being brutally reprimanded for having unashamedly broken down in front of his friends, despite his being a boy. I told myself that I was not to follow his example, if I were to become a man some day. A few years later, happily basking in the glory of having discovered my adulthood, one fine morning I realized with absolute terror, that a sensation that they casually refer to as dread, dwelled deep within me somewhere. I was essentially capable of fearing something; on retrospect, many things ranging from shaggy spiders to large vacant spaces to god alone knows what else! It did not comfort me one bit that I was a certified hypochondriac who could actually shed a few tears as well!!
Until I grew up, and finally realized that all is well with the world, and I am as normal as I could possibly get to be. :)
Sometimes it seems very amusing and absurd to conform to the societal norms that are expected of a man. When a student of mine subtly hints that he wants to have a heart to heart talk, I know what lies in store. Biting lips, quenching fists and vacant stares finally give way to sobs and sniffles, as I shrug and suggest that crying probably is not such a bad idea, after all. It has been years since I did that, is an oft heard post counseling comment. Some even unabashedly request not to let the word out. As he goes back to the world, regaining his lost dignity and the ideal poise, I often find him pacifying himself with playing the man role to perfection yet again and promising himself and the rest of the planet; that he would never ever cry again.